The Three Little Pigs
by Eyra Dragonsworth
Summary: The Three Pigs acquire names, attitudes, and a 'Beowulf' style text.
1. Canto I: Hear Me!

Author's Note: Okay, I don't know WHY I wrote this, but I did

Author's Note: Okay, I don't know WHY I wrote this, but I did. It's basically _The Three Little Pigs_ in the style of _Beowulf_. Why did I do it? I don't know, I have already STATED that I don't know why! It's nine cantos long, and cantos is Beowulfian for chapters. Some are short, some are long, some are…whatever. Just read and review, ok? There will be another author's note at the last chapter. Ta!

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The Three Little Pigs

by Eyra Dragonsworth

****

Canto I

Hear me! We have heard of fools and heroes before

Brave creatures that win against hard

Happenings. We have heard of Little Red Riding Hood, who

Lost her way and her grandmother's life.

The poets sing of bold Br'er Rabbit, that teaser tricked

Br'er Fox and was thrown into his home, the

Briar patch. But this bard bids to tell thee, the tale

Of three pigs. They were brothers, birthed

And weaned by the same mother,

Taught by the same father.

The first-born of the three was Istray, a large, lazy swine,

Steeped in beer from birth.

The second-born of the three was Stiggs, a sallow, skinny, pasty pig, with

Beady eyes, and a greedy manner.

The third-born was Britar, brawny, benevolent Britar, with a heart full

Of happiness, a prince among hogs.

Their mother did her best to instill good

Thoughts in the hearts of the three, but Britar was the only

Piglet that listened

And so there came a day when the

Piglets were grown, and Istray, Stiggs, and brave Britar

Set out to find their fortunes.


	2. Canto II: The Split in the Road and Stra...

Canto II ****

Canto II

The three reached a split in the road almost

As soon as they started. Istray strode forward first, and chose

The far-left trail, to lead him where it would.

Istray had not traveled far when

He met a hayer and harkened to him, motioned

The man aside. Istray trotted to the man, and sat by him, beckoned

The hayer to set. Istray snorted, said,

"I've sighted your straw, kind

Sir, and wonder what price to pay for it?"

The hayer blinked, bemused by the buffoon's bargain.

"The hay is old, and moldy in places. 'Tis not good for any

Use, but for slops for the pigs." Istray sneered, and snickered

"Where you see slops, I see shelter." The hayer shrugged,

'Twas not his duty to deny the odd gentleman's request, no,

But to rid his home of the rotten hay.

The deal was done, and Istray smiled- hay for a home,

Cozy and warm, was what he wanted.

He built his home of hay, by that same spot where

He spent his money for straw. A quick

Shelter, built in a night. No leaks hit his head, and

No labor was spent, building his house of hay!


	3. Canto III: Stiggs' Sticks

Canto III ****

Canto III

Second-born Stiggs set out after Istray, his

Money-purse jangling, his greedy eyes searching for

A cheap material. Soon Stiggs

Reached a forest, and stopped by a stream.

He was amazed by the driftwood dropped by

The stream on the shore. A tatty timber, it was, but

For free! Stiggs smirked, and proceeded to pick up the sticks.

He took the big bits, and bundled the bitty parts

Together, with torn bark and dried grass.

His house grew, on that very bank,

From twigs and sticks, driftwood and weeds.

Halfway through was Stiggs when night fell. He

Returned to the fork in the road, and traveled the left

Division, daring that his brother might

Have finished with his house.

Stiggs spent that night, in the house of hay, with

His brother Istray. In the morning he returned to his

Building, and had the roof on by noon.

Drafty and cold it might be, but

It was a cheap shelter, a sanctuary of sticks.

Greedy Stiggs was satisfied.


	4. Canto IV: Brave Britar!

Canto IV ****

Canto IV

And so we come to brave Britar, left

By his brothers to browse the byways until

He bought a building, or the beginnings of one.

Boldly he chose the rightmost road, barely

More than a game trail. Slowly

As he traveled the trail widened, until it was

A freeway for all to follow.

Brightly Britar trod, until he reached a valley broad

And saw below a village, and chose to

Find his fortune there.

The first man he met was selling bricks, and

Britar knew that bricks were strong,

That mortar and bricks built a place

To sleep in ease. He smiled at the seller, and

Simply said,

"Bricks be my choice, and

I wish to buy."

So Britar bought his bricks and mortar, built

His house on the freeway-side.

He spent his nights at his parents' home, until

That glad day when his home would be done!


	5. Canto V: And then there came a day...

Canto V ****

Canto V

And then there came a day where Istray and Stiggs

Had nothing to do. They lazed around together, and

Ate until sodden with food. Boredom

Grew in them, until Istray

Suggested that they visit their brother, Britar.

Stiggs smiles at this and agreed, for

They had not seen the brother for a time.

They traveled the road

Slowly, lazily, until they

Reached the half-built house of Britar.

They laughed to themselves, and

Upon seeing Britar, chuckled,

"Brother, you built

Your house of bricks and mortar? What

Time you waste! You could be

Having fun with us, but instead you insist

On wasting your time building

A worthless house!"

Britar sighed, and replied politely,

"My brothers,

Your houses are flimsy and

Easily destroyed. If the enemy ever enters

Your door, you and your house shall

Be demolished, and

There will be nought one can do about it!"

But his brothers would not listen,

Laughed at his words, and

Left, to return to their homes


	6. Canto VI: The Baying Wolf

Canto VI ****

Canto VI

Close to the house of Istray

Came a ferocious and frightening fiend,

Traveling the road slowly,

Leering at the people he passed.

He was known as the Baying Wolf, the beast that

Haunted houses of the disappeared.

His name was feared, and

All sensible souls barred their doors at

The sound of him. The foolish few

That did not were gone by morning.

None were seen again, and

Whether they lived or lost their lives by

The Baying Wolf is not to be known.


	7. Canto VII: At Istray's House

Canto VII ****

Canto VII

Then he trod the way to Istray's house,

Raising a cloud of dust behind him, walking

With those fearsome paws pounding the path, beating

A relentless rhythm. He was nearing

The house, that shabby straw shelter, that home

Of the stout, slothful Istray.

The Baying Wolf slicked down his fur, tidied

Himself as much as possible, approached

The house with a sugary smile, replaced his

Dour demeanor. He knocked

On the door, with a call,

"Little friend, let me

In! The cold creeps upon me now,

And I am near frozen out here!"

Istray glimpsed the glistening fur of

The Baying Wolf through a crack in the straw.

He snickered, amused at the thought of

Him being foolish enough to let the fiend in.

He replied rapidly,

"For soothe, fiend!

"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!"

The Wolf sneered, the speech of the pig reached

His ears. He changed his words, his manner,

His voice sweeter, sadder,

"Ah, little pig! Little pig! If

"I could but convince you that

"I am not the feared wolf! But a traveler,

"Turned away for the furs he wears!"

Istray scowled, surprised

By the reasonable excuses. He sighed, but

Stuck to his story.

"Nay, newcomer!

"Do you take me for a fool?! I shall never let thee

"In, not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!"

The Baying Wolf growled, agitated, but

Determined to try once more. His

Voice sang, sweeter than honey,

"Sweet friend

"Pig! Do you take me for a liar? This

"I would never do! A shelter from

"The storms a-coming, a shelter from storms, even

"If it be straw, I would be glad to have! Please, friend. Let

"This traveler in."

But Istray shook his head, and replied,

"I cannot risk it,

"I would be taken as a fool by my friends,

"If I let a stranger into my straw shack. And

"This I will not let happen, not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!"

At this the Baying Wolf roared with

Anger, roared so loud, the strength of

His breath so strong that house of hay fell down,

And Istray had no time to run.


	8. Canto VIII: At Stiggs' Shack

Canto VIII ****

Canto VIII

And then the Baying Wolf trod the road once more,

Padded along with a half-full belly.

The night was falling, the deadly night, the

Night that within more than one life would be

Robbed today. The path

Led the way, the Wolf wandering, following

The path without concern.

The road reached a stream, slithering it ways through a

Forest. The Baying Wolf stopped by the creek,

Cleaned his monstrous self, and

Then saw the shelter of sticks, the home of Stiggs.

He snickered to himself, and smiled, then

Approached the house. He knocked, and called

Out, with that silvery voice,

"Little friend, friend

"In the woods, will you let a

"Poor traveler in to sleep the night?"

Stiggs did not even turn towards the door,

But shouted rudely,

"I have no food, and I have

"No money. None for beggars like you!

"I don't feed beggars, no, not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!"

At this the wolf knew that this must be

His earlier meal's brother. He licked his lips, could

Already taste the meal, and

Shouted, his voice rasping with impatience,

"Oh, please,

"Little pig, let me come in! The night

"Draws cold, and I shall freeze."

Stiggs froze at the terrifying words the Wolf spoke. How

Could this traveler know he was a pig? He 

Replied shrewdly,

"Nay, fool! How

"Could I believe your falsehoods, when

"Fearsome beasts roam these woods, those

"That would willingly gobble me up? No, I shall

"Not let you in, not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin."

The Wolf's eyes grew large with anger,

And he snarled, and growled.

He opened his mouth, with those ghastly, curved,

Sharp teeth, and blew at the house, hoping

His horrendous wind would

Destroy this house as it did the last.

But the cracks in the walls were many, and

The breeze rushed through, a large,

Wall-shaking draft, but the house was intact.

At this the Baying Wolf howled with

Rage, and tried to break

Down the door. The whole house

Shuddered, the weak walls trembled,

And the house collapsed. Stiggs was inside,

And the Wolf smiled cruelly.


	9. Canto IX: At Britar's Building

Canto IX ****

Canto IX

The Baying Wolf continued along the road, proud

And pleased with himself. His belly was

Nearly full, and he was tired. The sun was rising,

He had worked through the whole night

For his meals. Smacking his lips, he considered

Breakfast, and saw in the distance a 

House of bricks. His lips formed a horrible smile, each

Curved, cruel tooth showing. Here was his

Breakfast, and a place to sleep.

He paced the path leisurely, his objective always in

His sight. Then he was there, standing

In front of the brick house, which was none other than

Britar's house, poor Britar, whose

Brothers had been devoured by that disgusting,

Wicked Wolf. Then the Wolf was

At Britar's door, and knocked, with a call,

"Little

"Friend, little friend, let me come in? I am

"A poor wanderer, with no where to

"Rest, and naught to eat."

Kind Britar was moved by these words, but

Knew the dangers of the world, and

Replied kindly,

"Ah, if I could only let

"You in, kind sir! But the world is

"Full of dangers, I cannot risk letting one through

"My door! However-" Britar paused,

Took a few of his coins, shoved them under the

Door-jam, so that the Wolf could reach them. He continued,

Sweetly said,

"Take these, my friend, and walk

"This path but a little longer. An inn

"You will find down the road, and these meager

"Coins will buy you a shelter for tonight."

The Wolf sighed sadly, impatience welling in his brain, cruel

Thoughts dwelling in his mind.

"But sir! I

"Will have starved by the time

"I reach this inn, and my feet are ready to

"Fall from my ankles with fatigue."

Britar shook his head sadly, and shoved one

More coin under the door.

"This is all I have

"To give you, if I give you more I

"Myself will starve. Please sir, take the

"Money, and continue on your way. If only I had

"More to give you! If only, by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"

The Wolf's eyes grew large with anger, and

A sneer played on his lips. How could

This strange pig turn him away?! He would

Not leave! The Baying Wolf drew in

A deep breath, and howled at

The brick house of Britar, knowing

He would knock it down like the other three

Houses. Yet when he stopped howling, the house

Still stood in front of him. Britar

Called from within,

"Friend, why the

"Anger? I gave you all I have to give! Please,

"Do not be angry with me!"

At this the Wolf was filled with intense

Hatred. How could this pig still be kind to him

When he had just tried to blow his house

Down? The Baying Wolf inhaled again, and

Hoped that this time the house would fall as

He blew. He blew, and blew, and blew, until suddenly,

He stopped blowing. Brave Britar, kind

Britar, third little pig, opened his door and

Looked out at the world. There, in front of his

Door, someone had left a two-sided

Wolf skin rug. Britar shrugged at this kindness, picked

It up, and set it in front of his hearth. The

Rug stayed there, til the day Britar was buried.

Author's Note: Well, that's it! The End! Hope you enjoyed it, but how someone could enjoy something that mimics _Beowulf_ I do not know. As I don't think anyone owns the Three Little Pigs, I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!!! YAAAAY! ::cough:: Well…I guess. And if someone does own the piggies, then they belong to them. Simple as that. Oh, and how many people got that the villain is called the "Baying Wolf", which happens to be very close to "Beowulf"? Well, it was a pun. Not a very funny one, but hey, that's life. Well, ta!


End file.
